Really sad...
Posted by linglaine at 10:48 PM on February 2, 2006 in 日本のこと.
Yesterday, an hour before our lunch period, Mika approached me, sir emer and keg at our desk and told us that the UT Department President of Nippon Ceramics (NC) -- the company I'm working for -- wanted to talk to the three of us for some really important matter. We went immediately to the conference room and took our seats. I don't know why or how, but I suddenly felt bad about it. I just felt that I was gonna be hearing something that would make me feel terrible or should I say sad.
Mr. Tanida, our president started to talk (in Nihongo, for Mika was there to translate everything to us) about how nine months ago, the Engineering Section of NC's UT department is looking for Filipino ECE's who will be sent and trained here in Japan. Engineers who will be working with a team of Japanese engineers to do problem solving and analysis of the current products of NC's UT dept. That resulted to us, Keg and I being hired by NPI which is a subsidiary company of NC. We stayed in NPI for about three months and almost everyday, we had our Nihongo lessons with Mr. Morimoto (NPI's General Manager). Mr. Tanida said that at the time when he decided that NC needed the minds of young Filipino engineers, it did occur to him that communication would be a problem but never did he think that it was going to be a really big problem. Now, he realized that he thought wrong.
After he had said those things, I pretty had a good idea of what he's about to tell us next. He then sounded more serious. He told us that he had seen us work and how good we were, and how Mr. Sakaguchi commended us for doing our tasks well. But somehow, he felt that we are not able to maximize our full capabilities because of the existing problem in communication, that we would be able to contribute more to the company if we are working in the Philippines. Yes... language barrier it is. As much as they wanted to explain and teach us everything that they know, it's impossible because they can't speak good English. And as much as we wanted to learn and be more involved in problem solving, again it's impossible because we also can't express ourselves in Nihongo. And truen enough, my vocabulary is very limited to daily expressions, simple questions and requests.
At that moment, I wanted to cut him short and say, "please, just say it. just say what i think you are about to say. please...". And he did. He said that it was decided that our Japan training contract will already end on February 28. I pretended that I was cool about it but deep inside, I wanted to scream and cry. I had to keep my tears from falling because I just can't let them see me weep. That would be too embarrassing for me.
I feel so sad because I won't be able to experience springtime and see sakura. My chance of going to disneyland is gone. I won't be able to go to USJ again. I won't be able to see my churchmates, and I won't have so much time to spend with Sir Emer, Ate Eths, Angie, Jhen, Ehy, Jean, Weng, Ernie, Kuya Jeff, Mika anymore. In short, I'll be missing so many things and so many people. People whom I have learned to care about and love so much.
I know that I've been ranting of how I wanted so much to go home. But now that the news came to us so fast, I don't want to go home yet. Not now, not for a month, not for the next months but on the 31st of August.
Sigh... could someone cheer me up please. :(
Currently listening to: Voice Within
Currently feeling: lonely